“Okay, mama,” (my heart tingles) I feel a sharp good feeling inside it almost hurts.
Have I forgotten what it’s like to be called mama, I wondered? But my children say it to me all the time. I started to notice that I had taken the word for granted.
Was it because it became the norm for me?
Was it because my attention was focusing on my career?
Was I too consumed in my world that I lost my mama touch?
I’m not sure what questions to ask, to find out why this internal feeling was dormant in the first place.
The only thing I know for sure is that when this kid with a cute toddler voice calls me mama, it awakens those mama feelings back up. I just love it when he calls me mama.
I’m glad my heart woke up to the sound of the word mama.
I thank God, a million times,for sending me this little boy who calls me mama.
I feel this immense love for this kid who calls me mama. He’s a big kid with a big heart. He’s a baby to me. And I care for him and I love him like if he was my own.
Is this the start of something big? Am I capable of loving another woman’s child? Is this the beginning of adoption? Am I taking this feeling too far?
Should I just let it be and savor the feeling? I tell myself not to make it into something bigger than what it is?
I think I’ll just do that. I’ll be present in the feeling. Just savor the feeling for what it is and let it hurt.